Against all the odds
by DarknessDeadly
Summary: A fanfiction about Smithy's bad luck with women. Contains self harm, abuse and strong language.
1. Chapter 1

Smithy woke up, he rolled over and saw Elizabeth lying next to him. Her dark hair was spread in a wave over her pillow, she looked incredibly peaceful. Smithy smiled as he saw her hand clutch at his side of the bed, he walked his fingers up her arm towards her face. She frowned and muttered "Gerroff." in her sleep.

Her brown eyes opened and Smithy stroked her cheek gently, "Morning," he said quietly as she looked over at him. She smiled and wriggled under the duvet, Smithy felt her slide her hand over his back, "Not now," he said, his smirk evident in his voice.

Elizabeth surfaced next to him, "Why not?" she asked pouting.

"We've got to go to work." he said getting out of bed and pulling his clothes on. Elizabeth didn't look pleased but got out of bed herself and went down into the kitchen to get herself some breakfast. Smithy followed her down and wolfed down his breakfast. Elizabeth went back up to the bedroom and was sitting on the bed when Smithy came up to offer her a lift to her work.

"Call in sick." Elizabeth said as Smithy entered the room. "Why?" asked Smithy, "I'm not sick."

"Please, please just for me." Elizabeth pleaded.

"I can't." said Smithy firmly, "We're working on a big project, I need to go to work."

"Smithy. Do it. Call in sick." Elizabeth said, a hard edge creeping into her voice. "No, Liz." said Smithy turning away and going to leave. "Don't leave me." Elizabeth cried as he went down the stairs. Smithy came up to see if anything was wrong with her. "Liz, are you sick? Is that why you want me to stay?" he asked his voice showing his concern.

Elizabeth shook her head after a moments thought. "Right, well I'm going to go to work." said Smithy. Elizabeth heard the door shut as he left.

Smithy drove to Sun Hill police station his mind still going over why Liz could possibly have wanted him to stay at home that particular day. He parked his car and went into the male changing room. He changed into his uniform and went to the briefing.

"We've had several reports of a large group of 20-25 youths moving through the streets, they haven't shown any signs of trouble yet but the residents are nervous..." Smithy zoned out, he had just hit on a potential reason for Liz wanting him to stay at home. She had come home with bruises on her arms last night and she said that one of the guys who worked at the same nursery as her had grabbed her. She was probably nervous about him.

He was pulled back to the briefing when Gina called his name, "Smithy? Smithy, you're with Gabriel." Smithy groaned inwardly. "Right, move all of you. And keep an eye out for those teenagers."

Gabriel came up to Smithy as he waited next to the patrol car, "Alright Gabriel?" Smithy asked out of politeness. "Yeah, fine thanks Sarge," replied Gabriel as he got into the patrol car.

Smithy spotted one of the other patrol cars surrounded by a massive group of teenagers, the same group that they'd been warned about during the briefing. Gabriel accelerated towards the group and screeched to a halt as Smithy leapt from the car and started yelling at the group to disperse and back off. A couple of youths advanced on Smithy, who flicked out his asp while shouting to Gabriel to call for back up. Smithy saw a brick smash through the other patrol car's windscreen, then he saw a youth brandishing a crowbar shoving his way through the crowd towards him. The youth broke through the throng and swung the crowbar at Smithy who dodged and tried to memorise the youth's features. "Police!" he shouted, it was obvious who they were but the youth paused and lowered the crowbar.

He could hear patrol cars racing towards the scene, the youth with the crowbar dropped it and legged it. Smithy caught hold of his arm as he sped past and twisted his arm behind his back, the youth hit out catching Smithy on the jaw. Smithy ignored it and handcuffed the youth before marching him to the patrol car and pushing him into the back seat leaving him in Gabriel's care.

The group dispersed and ran off in all directions, "Damn!" said Smithy fervently as he felt blood dripping from his jaw, he hastily wiped it away.

Callum came over, "Everything sorted here?" he asked. "Yep, I'm gonna head back to the nick with that kid. Can you follow up on the ones that got away?" Smithy replied.

"Will do." said Callum.

Smithy took the youth into the nick and signed him in.

Smithy finished filling in the incident report and then rejoined Gabriel by the patrol car.

Their shift was fairly uneventful from then on


	2. Chapter 2

Smithy got back to his house and went in, Liz came running through from the kitchen and threw herself into his arms sobbing loudly.

"What's up?" asked Smithy holding her close.

"That guy at work.." Liz said into his shirt.

"Alright Liz, what exactly did he do?" asked Smithy gently leading her through to the sitting room.

"He wouldn't leave me alone, I told him to and he didn't listen. He kissed me." she said before breaking down again. Smithy held her close and stroked her hair soothingly.

"I'll go and sort him out." said Smithy angrily.

"No! No, please Smithy stay here! Don't leave me!" Liz said clutching onto his arm tightly.

"OK, I won't go anywhere until you're ready." he said reassuringly.

She looked up into his face from her position on his lap and said "I love you Smithy."

"I love you too baby." he said cuddling her. Liz snuggled against him and tucked her head up under his chin. Smithy tensed and shifted his head as she bumped against the bruise on his jaw.

"What is it?" asked Liz.

"Nothing, just got clipped at work." Smithy said.

"Oh, come here." said Liz reaching up and immediately seeing the angry purple bruise on Smithy's jaw.

"Come up to the bathroom." Liz said, taking his hand and ignoring his protests as she lead him up the stairs.

She gently cleaned the cut and rubbed some cream over the bruise. Then she took a pad and pressed it firmly over the cut.

"Ow!" Smithy exclaimed, "Ow! Back off."

Liz shook her head, "No, Smithy it's bleeding again."

Smithy took hold of her arms and removed her hands from his face.

Liz drew her hand back and slapped Smithy round the face, "Oww, Smithy!" she shrieked.

"What?" said Smithy concern and sympathy lacing his voice. Tears leaked out of Liz's eyes as she pulled back her sleeve, Smithy gasped as he saw the livid cut across Liz's wrist. "Liz, who did that to you?" Smithy asked angrily. "Was it that guy from your work?"

"No, no." said Liz. "I did it."

"What?" Smithy was shocked, "What did you say?"

"I said that I did it. I did it to myself." said Liz breaking down completely. She turned and ran out of the bathroom, she went into the bedroom and started to throw her stuff into a pile on the bed.

"What are you doing?" said Smithy following her.

"Well you don't want to live with a nutcase do you?" she asked glaring at him through red-rimmed eyes.

"Liz, you're not a nutcase! We can get through this. Please don't leave. I love you."

"You still love me?" asked Liz disbelievingly, "Even though you know that I self harm?"

"Of course I do!" said Smithy stepping forward and holding out his arms for a hug. Liz pressed herself against him and sobbed as though she would never stop.

"Right now let's sort out your arms," said Smithy when Liz had calmed down.


	3. Chapter 3

It was dark, Smithy wondered what had woken him then he realized that it was the sound of footsteps going along the corridor. He lay in bed and listened to Liz going into the kitchen, she probably needs a glass of water, he thought. Then he heard a gasp of pain, he was out of bed in a flash. He went as quietly as he could down the stairs, he looked over at the kitchen sink and saw Liz preparing to slice through her own wrist. "No, Liz. Please don't." said Smithy from the doorway. Liz looked round and saw him. With a cry she slashed through her wrist, Smithy leaped forward to stop her as she raised the knife again. Liz dropped it and shoved past him running out into the hall and wrenching the door open and racing out onto the street.

Smithy ran after her, "Liz stop!" Smithy yelled. "Just leave me alone!" Liz screamed as she ran away. Smithy stopped and went back into his house, he flopped down into his favourite chair and switched on the TV. There was no way he'd be able to get to sleep.

When Smithy turned up at work almost an hour early, Gina who had also gone to work early noticed immediately that something was wrong. "Smithy, a word please." she said sticking her head out of her office.

Smithy went into her office, "Smithy what's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing," Smithy lied.

Gina didn't believe him, "Is it something to do with your work? Gabriel said that one of the youths took a swipe at you."

"No, ma'am." said Smithy firmly.

"OK, you do know that you can talk to me don't you?" she asked. "Yes ma'am." said Smithy nodding.

"Alright, you can go." said Gina. Smithy left the office without a word.

Smithy was on custody, something that Gina had probably had a hand in, Smithy reflected irritably. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, "Hello?" he asked seeing that the caller ID was Liz. "Hello? Are you 'Smithy'?" asked a male voice. "Yes, who is it?" asked Smithy, "Where's Liz?"

"She insisted that we call you, she's in hospital." said the man. "Why? What's she done now?" Smithy asked. "She has got several deep cuts on her wrists and arms, it looks like self harm but she insists that she fell on a broken bottle." the man replied. "OK. I'll be right there." said Smithy. He dashed into Gina's office not bothering to knock, "Gina, I've just had a call from the hospital to say the Liz has been admitted. I need to get down there soon, could I possibly switch shifts?"

"Of course Smithy, I'll get Sgt Stone to cover for you. Take as long as you want. You're over due for leave anyway." said Gina.

Smithy ran out into the car park and leapt into his car, he revved the engine and left in a screech of burning rubber.

He got to the hospital and strode into the reception area, "I'm looking for Elizabeth Jones?" he said to the receptionist. "Okay, she's in ward 23. Through there then follow the numbers, she's in bed 7." Smithy thanked the receptionist and followed the directions.

He saw her lying in a bed near the front of the ward, "Hey, how are you?" he asked her. "I'm okay, just fell over on a damn bottle." she said catching his gaze and silently willing him not to contradict her. "Okay, when are you coming home?" he asked. "The doctor just wants to be sure that the bleeding has stopped then I'll be off." Liz said cheerfully.

"Alright, you coming home with me then?" he asked. "If you want me to." she said cheekily.

Smithy smiled and said "Please talk to me before you do it again, I can't help you otherwise and then I'd be forced to report you."

Liz nodded, "I will, sorry Smithy."

The doctor had discharged Liz and told Smithy to keep an eye on her because he suspected self harming, Smithy promised that he would.

It was about 1 o'clock and Smithy and Liz stopped off to get something to eat in a cafe. They talked about anything except Liz's injuries, their conversation was deliberately light and carefree.

They managed to avoid the subject for a full two hours then Smithy decided that they should probably go home.

They settled down on Smithy's sofa and watched some films, Smithy wrapped his arm around Liz and kept her close.

When the last film ended Smithy got up to get another drink, "Do you want anything?" he asked Liz. She shook her head and said "I might head for bed." Smithy nodded, "I might join you."


	4. Chapter 4

Half an hour later Liz was in bed, Smithy had just finished having a shower and came through in his pyjama bottoms. 

Liz was watching the blood drip from her arm onto the bedside table. "Liz!" said Smithy grabbing some of the bandaging that the doctor had given to him so that he could change the dressing if the blood leaked through the first bandage. 

Smithy wrapped Liz's arm in the bandage and said "Why didn't you do anything about it?" 

Liz shook her head and said "I don't know." 

It was about an hour later when Liz slid out of the bed and looked over at Smithy, he was awake and watching her. 

"I'm just going to the toilet," she said. Then she shook her head, "No I'm not, I need to cut myself." 

Smithy was out of bed in a second, "No! Don't!"

"Please don't stop me, I need to." Liz pleaded. 

Smithy shook his head, "I can't let you." Liz started to tear at the bandages on her arms with a feverish urgency. "No, Liz, Stop!" Smithy said firmly coming around the bed and catching hold of her arms, she started to kick her own legs, scraping at herself with her nails. "Liz stop!" said Smithy desperately. Liz completely ignored him. "Liz stop!" he said pushing her onto the bed and lying on her, physically stopping her from hurting herself. 

"Smithy!" she screamed. "Get off me!" 

Eventually she calmed down started crying again. 

"It's alright, shush, shush, it's okay." Smithy soothed her. 

After a few minutes she slipped off to sleep. Smithy held her close and allowed himself to drift off, knowing that if she moved he would wake up. 

Smithy woke up, he saw Liz staring at her arms. The bandages were strewn across the room and the sheets and duvet were red with her blood. 

Smithy swore and got up, he took Liz through into the bathroom and cleaned and re-bandaged her arms. "Liz, I'm going to take you to a councillor, I want you to tell them what's going on. This is serious and can't continue."

Liz began to cry in anger, "That's you all over isn't it Smithy? You weren't here when I needed you! Now I'm a nutcase that you're going to pack off to the asylum while you continue untouched! Nothing matters except you does it!" 

Smithy tried to ignore her and drove her to the councillor, he dropped her off and went into work. 

"Dale Smith, the infallible Sergeant!" Callum was furious. 

"I didn't know did I!" Smithy shouted back. 

"You put her in danger!" Callum shouted back, "You were told not to send anyone in there but Sally ended up getting hurt! You shouldn't have sent anyone in! But of course it's her fault she didn't handle the situation appropriately!" yelled Callum bitterly.

"It wasn't my fault!" shouted Smithy angrily. 

"Nothing ever is, is it!" Callum shouted back, turning on his heel and marching into the station. 

Smithy knew that he'd messed up, Sally wasn't meant to have been in the alley, he was going to go in himself. It wasn't his fault that the man had cut Sally with the knife, was it? 

By the time Smithy got home he was convinced that the incident had been his fault, two people had told him that he was self-centred in one day, that wasn't coincidence.

Liz was at home when he got there, "The glorious hero returns to walk amongst his minions again." said Liz sarcastically as he entered. 

"Liz, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you. I would do anything to make you see how sorry I am." Smithy said. 

Liz was pulling the edges of the cuts on her arm apart, she cried out in pain and tears coursed down her cheeks. Smithy couldn't bear to see her hurting herself. Then without warning, Liz span round and scratched a deep line down Smithy's face. Smithy shrank back, "What the hell!" he said as he felt the scratch and saw the blood on his fingers. 

"I'm so sorry." said Liz, coming over and examining the red line. She dashed upstairs and fetched the first aid kit, she started to clean the cut but Smithy stopped her. "Leave it." he said. 

Smithy and Liz went to bed early, Smithy was woken in the early hours of the morning by Liz securing his hands behind his back with a single strand of wire. He struggled but the wire cut painfully into his wrists, "Smithy, I'm so sorry." said Liz as she injected herself.


	5. Chapter 5

Smithy looked on in horror, "What is that?" he asked. Liz shook her head as her pupils dilated. She leant forward and tied a piece of rope to the wire around Smithy's wrists. She kneed him in the stomach, he doubled up on the bed.

"This is your fault. You should have supported me more." said Liz angrily.

Smithy nodded "I know, I know Liz." he said.

"I didn't tell you to speak." Liz snapped angrily. She got up on the bed and stamped hard on Smithy's back, Smithy twisted to throw her off but she snatched up the glass of water that was on her bedside table and smashed the glass over Smithy's head. Smithy was almost knocked out by the blow, stars danced before his eyes, he felt Liz tugging on the wire around his wrists and obediently stood up, knowing that he deserved this. Liz prodded his back with the jagged edge of the now broken glass. Smithy walked forwards, Liz directed him to the stairs. She told him to lean over the banisters, then she tied the rope around her wardrobe. She came back through to Smithy, he had straightened up, "Lean over the banisters." she hissed venomously sticking the glass into his back.

Smithy swore as he felt shards of glass break off in his back. He leant over the banisters and felt Liz shove him over. He fell for about a second then he was brought up short by the wire around his wrists, he screamed in pain as both of his shoulders dislocated. The wire was cutting into his flesh, he was fairly sure that one of his wrists had broken.

Liz came over to him, his feet were dangling about a foot from the floor. She leant over the staircase banisters and held out his mobile phone, "I've called Gina, tell her whatever you want." she said.

Smithy could hear the phone ringing then he heard Gina's voice, "Hello Smithy, what do you want at this unearthly hour?"

"Gina could you come round it's urgent, I really need your help. Don't bother ringing back I won't be able to answer." said Smithy hurriedly.

"Okay. Sure Smithy, I'll be around in five minutes." Gina replied.

"Thanks Gina." said Smithy as Gina rang off.

Gina tried to think of any reason Smithy could possibly have for wanting her to come over in the small hours, it could be a problem with Liz she realized. After all the girl had been in hospital earlier, actually yesterday she realized as she looked at her watch.

She sped through the night, she knew where Smithy's house was and parked her car outside it. She got out of the car cautiously, there weren't any lights on in Smithy's house, that in itself was strange considering he'd rung her to ask her to come over.

She pulled out her phone to ring him then remembered something else he'd said, 'don't bother ringing back I won't be able to answer.' Why the hell wouldn't he be able to answer his own phone in his own house, she wondered. Smithy must be in big trouble if he couldn't answer his own phone, he hadn't said to call an ambulance or the police so it couldn't have been that bad, could it?

She walked up to the front door, she knocked and waited for a reply. She turned the handle, the door swung open easily, "Smithy?" she called.

"Gina?" it was Smithy's voice, but it was distorted.

Gina stepped over the threshold, "Where are you?" she asked.

"In the sitting room." came Smithy's reply.

Gina walked into the sitting room, it was pitch black. She flicked on the light and gasped in horror.

Smithy watched Liz as she calmly fixed a noose from the banister, she flicked off the light.

"Liz?" Smithy called.

"What, Smithy?" said Liz calmly.

"Please don't do anything stupid." said Smithy.

"This is all your fault. You'll find that pain helps. You'll know what I went through." said Liz.

Smithy felt the banisters shake, "No. Liz!" he cried out. Her only reply was a harsh gurgling noise. He thought he could make out the words "Your fault." before the banisters stopped shaking and the gurgling stopped.

Smithy let his head hang, he had failed the woman he loved, she had died because of him.

Gina saw Liz's body swinging from the banisters, she immediately called Sun Hill police station and an ambulance. She called out again "Smithy?" this time there was no reply. Gina felt sick standing in the same room as Liz's body, she went into the lounge merely to get away from it, Smithy had probably switched his phone off and headed off to drown his sorrows elsewhere. At least she hoped for his sake that he had, if he was still in the house then she had to wonder why.

She saw Smithy hanging from the banisters, "Oh God no!" she cried. "No! No! Not you too Smithy!" Then she saw that Smithy was still breathing and wasn't supported by his neck. Smithy was rotating slowly, he turned so that he was facing away from her, she could see his hands pulled up behind his back, blood spilling down from his wrists.

Gina rushed to get a chair, she put it under his feet, trying to make him take some of the weight off his wrists.

She could hear the wail of the ambulance sirens, then several police officers burst into the house. They stopped in horror as they saw Liz's body.


	6. Chapter 6

"Gina?" shouted Callum.

"Callum come through," Gina called back.

Callum ordered the PC's to stay put and preserve the crime scene, he went through into the lounge, he saw Gina standing trying to support Smithy. Callum took in the scene in one well practised glance, "Ben, Nate. Get through here now." he shouted.

Ben and Nate came running through, they stopped dead when they saw Smithy. "Ben go up onto the landing and cut through the rope." Callum ordered. "Nate, get hold of Sgt Smith and stop him falling when the rope's cut. Gina is he conscious?"

Ben bounded up the stairs and immediately saw where the rope had been tied, "Ready?" he called.

"Ready." Nate replied. Ben untied the rope, he kept hold of it and went over to the banisters gently releasing the pressure. Nate took more and more of Smithy's weight, until Ben dropped the rope over the banisters. Smithy moved and cried out in pain as Nate lowered him onto the sofa.

Nate jumped and tightened his grip on Smithy as the sergeant began to struggle against his bonds. Callum went out to the front of the house to direct the paramedics in. Nate didn't know how to put Smithy down, should he put him on his back lying on his arms or should he lie him face down? Gina solved the problem by sitting down on the sofa and reaching out for Smithy's shoulders. Smithy hissed in pain as he rested on his arm, Gina gently cradled his head and said "Stay still now, it's going to be okay."

Callum came through followed by two paramedics. "Yeah, that's him over there." said Callum pointing at Smithy. Nate and Ben were standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Callum told them to go and stop any neighbours who might wake up entering the house.

"Hello, I'm Mary." said one of the paramedics, "What's your name?"

"Smithy," the sergeant choked out.

"Alright Smithy, I'm going to give you something for the pain." said Mary. She filled up a syringe with liquid. Smithy flashed back to Liz injecting herself. "No! No! Stop, don't! I'll do anything!" he cried out. "I'll do anything you want! Please no!"

Smithy was thrashing around on Gina's lap, The paramedics attempted to control him, he tried to yank his arms free, crying out as pain tore through him.

He rolled off Gina's lap and landed on the floor, on his back. Smithy cried out and smashed his head against the floor, the paramedics were trying to restrain him.

Callum came over and pinned Smithy's writhing form to the floor, "Can we get a stretcher in here!" shouted Mary as fresh blood streaked down Smithy's back from the cuts inflicted by the broken glass.

Two more paramedics rushed in with a stretcher, "Okay, when I say go I want you to roll him onto the stretcher."

said Mary. "Go!" she shouted. The paramedics rolled him over as gently as was possible considering Smithy's violent struggles. Smithy was now more or less underneath where he had been hanging, the floor was covered in blood, Smithy rolled onto the stretcher and straight off the other side. He shouted out as he rolled onto the shattered remains of Liz's glass of water.

He could feel the shards of glass sticking into him, all across his stomach. He thought of Liz's last gurgled words "Your fault."

Instead of trying to roll off the glass he drove his body down onto it, only Callum and Gina noticed this movement. The paramedics noticed a second later as Smithy said "All my fault. My fault she's dead. It's my fault!"

They were moving forwards again as Smithy squirmed on the glass, deliberately driving the shards into his stomach. The paramedics sprang forward as Smithy wriggled backwards trying to get the shards up closer to his face. Callum sprang forward appalled by what he was seeing, Sgt Smith was trying to cause himself more pain, what could have driven him to this?

Callum scooped Smithy up into his arms, for a moment Smithy looked into Callum's eyes. Callum saw the pain in Smithy's green eyes, then he saw the lacerations covering Smithy's torso.

Callum placed Smithy carefully down on the stretcher "We're only trying to help you." said Callum as the paramedics strapped Smithy's legs down.

Smithy's pupils dilated in fear, "No, Gina! Help! I can't take it any more it hurts!" he cried out. He looked genuinely terrified, his arms were shaking, "No Gina! Don't let them it hurts!" he cried out. An appeal for help, the paramedics were trying to secure the straps across Smithy's chest and stomach.

"Gina! Callum! Please! It hurts! Oww! No! No! Stop! Please!" his voice rose to a scream. "Gina, Please they're hurting me!"

Callum strode hurriedly from the room, Gina tried to comfort her terrified sergeant, he was sweating and shaking more than ever.

He was hyperventilating, "We need to calm him down," said Mary reaching for the syringe again. Smithy struggled so hard that he was squirming out of the straps around his legs. Mary approached with the syringe held tightly in her hand, "Sgt Smith, you need to calm down so that we can take you to hospital. If you calm down then we won't need to inject you." she reasoned untruthfully. Smithy stopped struggling, Gina rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Smithy, I'm here. I won't let them hurt you." Smithy tried to relax, he stopped hyperventilating and lay down on the stretcher. Mary put the syringe down and came forward to secure the straps over his torso, Smithy shook his head firmly.

"No." he said clearly.

Mary said "I'm sorry Sgt Smith but we need to make sure that you're secure before we move you."


	7. Chapter 7

She reached over, took the strap and attached it to the other side of the stretcher. Smithy glared accusingly at Gina, then closed his eyes as Mary pulled the strap so that it was snug. Smithy rolled over, the whole stretcher tipped with him.

The paramedics pulled Smithy back over so he was lying on his back secured to the stretcher. Gina rubbed soothing circles on his arm, "Smithy! Get a grip! Stay still."

"You said you wouldn't let them! Oww! You said you wouldn't let them hurt me!" Smithy said glaring accusingly at Gina.

"They're trying to help you Smithy." said Gina. "Gina, they're hurting me. Oh God," he moaned as Mary secured the last strap. "I'm so sorry Liz! It's all my fault!"

Gina looked at the paramedics, "I'll come with him on the ambulance." she said. "OK," said Mary. The paramedics picked up the stretcher, Smithy's face twisted "Gina? Are you there?" he asked.

"Yes Smithy, I'm right here." said Gina reassuringly.

As Smithy was taken through the room where Liz had committed suicide he began to sob quietly to himself, Gina leant closer to hear what he was saying. "My fault. All my fault."

Mary stayed in the back of the ambulance with Smithy and Gina, "Alright, Sgt Smith I need you to tell me what happened." said Mary. Smithy shifted on the stretcher. Gina noticed that the straps were digging into Smithy's flesh. "Could you just loosen the straps a bit? It looks like they're digging in." she asked.

Mary ran her hand along the strap and loosened it a little. Smithy shifted experimentally, trying to get comfortable.

"Get the wire off," said Smithy. "I'm sorry Sergeant Smith but it wouldn't be safe for you not to be secure while you're in the ambulance." said Mary.

"Gina. Get her to loosen the straps a bit." said Smithy.

Gina looked inquiringly at Mary, who shook her head. "I'm sorry but that won't be possible." she said firmly.

"Sgt Smith I need to know what happened." Mary said again.

"It was my fault." said Smithy simply. Then he looked horrified with himself, "No! I'm sorry Liz! It _is _my fault!"

"What is? Did you do this to yourself?" Mary asked.

"No. I drove Liz to do it. I should have been there for her when she needed me. I deserve this." said Smithy becoming steadily more agitated.

"So this Liz, is she the woman in the house?" Mary asked.

"Yes, she self-harmed. I should have supported her more." said Smithy.

"Liz self-harmed?" asked Gina shocked.

Smithy nodded, "It's my fault that she's dead."

"Smithy, did she do this to you?" asked Gina.

"Yes, my fault." said Smithy, "I should have been there."

"Sgt Smith, you were there for her, but she was beyond help." said Mary.

Smithy lunged towards her, "Don't you dare blame her! It is my fault! Gina, I'm sorry. It is my fault!"

Mary gently pushed Smithy back down onto his back, "Okay, alright Sgt Smith."

"Just call me Smithy, everyone does." said Smithy.

"Right. Smithy, I need you to tell me what happened. Not who's fault it was but what happened." said Mary reaching across Smithy to reach the oxygen mask, she settled the strap round Smithy's head then pulled it down so that she could hear what he was saying.

"We were asleep," Smithy began, "Then I felt her tightening something around my wrists behind my back, I struggled a bit and she said that she was sorry. She injected herself with something, I don't know what. I asked what she was doing and she kneed me in the stomach, then she put her foot on my back. I tried to throw her off, it's all my fault. She hit me with her glass, I made her. I should have been there for her. She told me to lean on the banisters, then she must've tied the rope around something, she came back. I'd stood up, she had said I should lean on the banisters and I hadn't. She pushed me over the banister, oh it hurts. Help, oh God it hurts."

"Okay, calm down Smithy." said Mary placing the mask over Smithy's mouth and nose, "Alright just breathe, you'll be okay. I'm just going to make the pain go away. This'll stop it hurting."

Smithy's eyes widened, he shook his head frantically, he looked appealingly at Gina. Gina shook her head at Mary, "No. Let me talk to him. Smithy, you keep saying it hurts. If it hurts let Mary make it stop."

Smithy shook his head and started to talk, Gina pulled the mask down. "What? Smithy, say it again."

"You don't understand, Liz said pain would help. My fault." said Smithy.

The ambulance swept into the yard at the front of the hospital, the sirens were switched off and the other paramedic, Rose, opened the back doors.

"Smithy, we're going to get you on a trolley, then a doctor will look after you." said Mary.

A trolley team came into the ambulance, they lifted the stretcher and put it carefully down on the trolley.

Gina walked alongside Smithy's trolley as he was wheeled into A&E.

A female doctor with dyed blonde hair came over, Mary gave her a sheet of paper with the details of the incident. The doctor came up beside Smithy's head, "Hello Sgt Smith, my name's Debbie. I'm going to be looking after you. I need you to tell me why you don't want to have an injection?"

Smithy shook his head.

"Right, Sgt I need you to bring your arm round so that I can take a blood sample." said Debbie.

"I can't it hurts. My wrists.." said Smithy.

Mary undid the straps across Smithy's chest, "His arms are tied behind his back," Mary explained.

"Why is he lying on his back if his arms are tied behind him?" Debbie asked.

"Because he was being difficult, we were quite lucky to get him on the stretcher at all." said Rose.

"We need to get him onto the bed, if you undo the straps around his legs.. okay when I say three. One, two, three." said Debbie.

**I'm not sure that anyone's reading this, if you are could you please review? Pretty please?**

**I'm going on holiday so I won't update for a while but please review anyway.**


	8. Chapter 8

They put Smithy down, still on his back, Gina fussed with his pillow making him comfortable.

"Sgt I need you to tell me where it hurts the most." Debbie said.

"My shoulders." said Smithy.

Rose and Mary took the trolley away, a couple of trainee doctors came over pulling on surgical gloves. Debbie told them to turn Smithy over so that he was lying on his front, Smithy's breathing was fast and shallow. Debbie told one of the F2's to bring over a stand with an oxygen mask. Debbie settled the mask over Smithy's face and said "Sgt, I need you to take deeper breaths."

Debbie slid a needle into Smithy's arm, she attached a drip to it. The moment that Smithy felt the prick of the needle he panicked. He began to hyperventilate, he struggled against the wire that was cutting ever deeper into his wrists.

"It's okay, Smithy. They're trying to help you, you need stay still so that they can make sure that you're okay." said Gina.

Debbie slid the needle out of Smithy's arm again and the response was instantaneous, Smithy stopped struggling and tried to take deeper breaths and calm himself down.

"Sgt, I'm going to cut through the wire around your wrists now, if you want me to stop then just say so. I want you to tell me if it starts to hurt more." said Debbie holding out her hand for a pair of wire cutters.

Smithy shut his eyes and clenched his jaw as Debbie gently pulled the wire out of the deep cuts around his wrists, she snipped through the wire and extracted it from the cut.

Debbie put the wire in a dish and held out her hand for a gauze pad. She wrapped Smithy's wrists in the pad and secured them with bandages.

"Okay Sgt, can you let your arms relax, I'm just going to move your arms so that they're down by your sides. I need to clean out the cut on your back. How did you get this? It's got glass in." said Debbie as she put his arms down by his sides.

Gina answered for him "The woman who we suspect did this to him used a broken glass to force him to do what she said."

"She didn't force me! I deserved it!" said Smithy angrily.

Gina rolled her eyes, "He's convinced that this is entirely his fault." she said to Debbie who was looking confused.

"Oh." said Debbie, "Is it his fault?"

"It's only his fault if being attacked by the woman that you have only ever tried to help is a fault." said Gina exasperatedly.

"It wasn't like that! I should have been there for her!" Smithy shouted furiously.

"You should have been there for her? Smithy, you were there for her, and look where that landed you!" said Gina.

Smithy shook his head and buried his face in his pillow.

"Okay can you hold off for just a minute? You're distressing him and the last thing he needs now is more stress." Debbie said to Gina.

Smithy tensed as Debbie removed the tiny slivers of glass from the cut on his back, she covered the wound with a dressing and stuck the edges down with sticky tape.

"F2's I want you to roll him over again, Smithy if you just try and keep your arms out of the way." ordered Debbie. Smithy rolled over obediently and let Debbie clean out the cuts on his stomach and chest.

Debbie wound a bandage around Smithy's torso to keep the dressings on the cuts.

"I'm going to take you up for an X-ray now," said Debbie. Smithy nodded and shifted on the bed, immediately Gina was at his side.

"Here, let me sort that out." she said as Smithy tried to shift his pillow. Gina carefully plumped up his pillow and made sure that Smithy was comfortable.

A little over an hour later and Smithy had consented to have the intravenous drip inserted. Debbie handed Smithy over to Judy, who was to look after Smithy while he was in hospital. Judy rubbed a cold cream over the back of Smithy's hand and put a plastic plaster over it.

Debbie came back with Smithy's X-ray results, she showed him the X-rays of his wrists first, "Your right wrist is broken and your left wrist suffered more muscle damage. You'll need to have your right wrist put in plaster. The wire cut deeper on your left wrist. The X-rays of your shoulders show that you were really relatively lucky. Both shoulders are dislocated, but neither clavicle or humerus is broken."

Smithy was feeling incredibly tired, he couldn't think of any reason why he should be. However Debbie had a feeling that it was probably something to do with the general anaesthetic that she had added into the mix that was being given to Smithy intravenously. She had got permission off Gina who had signed the necessary forms.

Smithy drifted off to sleep, he was breathing slowly and rhythmically without any signs of distress. Debbie reset his shoulders and took some more X-rays.

She left Gina holding Smithy's hand, "He should come round within the next half-hour." she said as she left.

Gina's phone rang, she fished it out of her pocket and glanced at the caller ID, she flicked her phone open and said "Hello Callum, what can I do for you?"

"I'm being pestered by the relief to ask what's going on at the hospital. Everyone wants to know what happened to Smithy. There's some random rumour going around that it was his girlfriend?" said Callum apologetically.

"Unfortunately Callum, that rumour is probably true. Smithy's currently asleep but I'll get him to ring the station as soon as he's awake." Gina replied.

"Oh, and ma'am. Have you spoken to Smithy about..." said Callum his voice tailing off.

"No, I haven't and I would advise you not to either. Smithy's already convinced that all of this is his fault." said Gina.

"Well if he did this to himself then it is his fault." said Callum reasonably.

"He didn't. Liz did it to him. She was self-harming and Smithy couldn't stop her, he blames himself for her death. Keeps saying that he should have been there for her and that it's his fault." said Gina wearily.

"But that's stupid." said Callum bluntly.

Smithy stirred. "Sorry, Callum. I've got to go, Smithy's waking up." said Gina.

"Okay, bye." said Callum before ringing off.

Smithy lifted his left arm and went to run his hand through his hair, Gina leant over the bed and gently pushed his hand back down onto the bed.

"Stay still for a bit Smithy." she said, she leant over and pressed the assistance button. Judy came bustling in, "Hello Smithy, how're you feeling?" she asked as she checked the drip and the dressings.

"Okay." said Smithy noncommittally.

"Are you hungry?" asked Judy.

Smithy started nodding then he clammed up and shook his head. Judy looked at him sympathetically, "You'll need to eat. I'll bring you something, then even if you don't eat it, it'll be there if you want it."

"Smithy, I've got to go to work. I'll be back at lunch time." said Gina as she got up from her chair and headed for the door.

"Thanks, Gina. I appreciate it." said Smithy.

Judy came back in, "Are you hungry now?" she asked. Smithy shook his head firmly.

Gina came back at 1 o'clock, she had brought a sandwich with her. She sat down next to Smithy's bed and started to eat it. Smithy watched her, his mouth watering.

"Do you want some Smithy?" Gina asked noticing him watching her.

"No, thanks." said Smithy looking away.


	9. Chapter 9

It was three days after Smithy had been taken to hospital, Gina was worried about Smithy he hadn't eaten anything since he'd been admitted. He'd been kept hydrated by the drip but he was becoming skeletal. He had massive bags under his eyes and his ribs were painfully obvious to Gina every time she visited him.

Gina went into Smithy's room, she saw an unfamiliar nurse sitting in a chair next to Smithy, he was in tears. She had a stethoscope around her neck and Smithy was listening to her avidly.

Gina went over to Smithy and sat down in her chair as the nurse got up to go, "I'll be back in about an hour." she said as she left.

"What was she doing? What's up?" Gina asked Smithy.

"She's the new nurse, she wasn't doing anything." Smithy had that stubborn clammed up look on his face that told Gina that she wasn't going to be able to get anything else out of him about the nurse.

Gina couldn't stay away from the nick for long so when she'd finished her sandwich she had a short talk with Smithy, she tried to persuade him to eat something, then she left.

As soon as she'd gone the nurse came back in, "Hi Smithy, I brought you some food."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Grace." said Smithy.

"Come on Smithy." said Grace as she sat down again by the bed and speared a piece of sandwich on a fork. She moved the fork in a spiralling motion towards Smithy's face whilst making aeroplane noises.

Smithy snorted and turned his face away like a spoilt child.

"No." he said firmly.

Grace pretended to look upset, "Here I am offering to hand-feed you and you say _no_?"

Smithy relented, "Who could refuse an offer like that?" he said.

A smile spread across Grace's face, Smithy turned back to face her.

Grace popped the piece of sandwich into Smithy's mouth. Smithy ate it and smiled at her.

After a few more days Grace and Smithy's relationship had blossomed, Callum came to see Smithy. Smithy looked up as the door opened, he recognised Callum immediately. "Hey, how's things at the nick?" he asked.

Callum smiled, "Same as usual. I hear from Ben and Nate that you've got yourself another girl?"

The embarrassed look on Smithy's face confirmed this gossip as true. Callum's phone rang, Callum looked at the caller ID and grinned.

"Hello." he said.

"Hi Callum, is it true?" Honey squealed.

"Yep, every word." said Callum grinning broadly. He could hear Honey telling all the other girls at the station that the rumour was true.

"Kerry wants to know when we can see her." said Honey.

"Hang on I'll just ask." said Callum.

"Oi, Smithy mate, when can we see your new girl?" he asked.

"Oh I dunno..." said Smithy evasively.

Then Grace walked in, she was carrying Smithy's lunch. "Oh, you must be Callum." said Grace coldly when she saw Callum.

Callum nodded, "She's just entered the room." he said into his phone.

Honey rang off.

Callum hastily excused himself on the pretext that he had work to do, after Grace had given him the cold treatment or a few minutes.

"Okay, see you mate." said Smithy as Callum left.

Smithy was discharged after only 5 days in hospital this was probably because he would be being looked after by a fully trained nurse in the form of Grace.

Grace drove him back to his flat, Smithy had agreed that it would be easier for all concerned if Grace stayed in his spare room.

Grace made Smithy sit down in the lounge while she made him a cup of tea, Smithy flicked through the Sky channels. He decided to catch up on all of the West Ham matches that he'd missed while he'd been in hospital then Grace came into the room.

"Don't watch that. I want to watch Notting Hill." Smithy was just about to say that there was a TV in the spare bedroom when she took the remote out of his hand and flicked onto a different channel so that they were watching Notting Hill.

When Notting Hill finished Smithy decided to go to bed, Grace escorted him upstairs. She said "You go and have a shower while I make your bed. I'll get you a mug of hot chocolate and a hot water bottle."

Smithy went into the bathroom, shrugged off his clothes and unwound the bandages around his torso wincing as the cuts on his stomach stretched. He stepped under the shower and washed away the smell of the hospital.

When he came out in his pyjamas he flopped down onto his bed, Grace came in and put a mug of hot chocolate on the bedside table.

"Take your shirt off." said Grace.

Smithy began to unbutton his shirt then Grace batted his hands away, she quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it roughly off. Smithy gritted his teeth and said "Oww."

Grace pushed him down onto the bed, Smithy struggled slightly and tried to sit up. Grace pushed him down fully onto the bed and stroked his side. Smithy winced as her fingers caught at the stitches on some of the deeper cuts on his stomach.

"Oh Smithy, does that hurt? Think of what Liz went through because of you." she said as she tugged on the stitches.

Smithy instinctively shrank away from the pain, Grace ran her hands over his stomach. Smithy shivered as she licked the cuts, she caught the stitches between her teeth and ripped them out. Smithy cried out, Grace took out a piece of material and gagged Smithy with it. Smithy felt blood spilling from the reopened cut, he bit down hard on the material and didn't resist as Grace lowered herself onto him.

When Grace had finished Smithy was sore all over and covered in little bleeding scratches, Grace slapped him around the face one last time then went into his spare bedroom.

Smithy went to sleep and slept soundly (drugs in hot chocolate work wonders) until Grace woke him in the morning. "Come through to the bathroom." she said and administered to his cuts as carefully as she had done at the hospital.


	10. Chapter 10

Smithy's nightly torment continued until his cast came off and he was allowed to go back to work.

Smithy drove into work and was greeted by Gina.

"Hello Smithy how've you been holding up?" she asked.

"Okay, thanks ma'am." said Smithy. Gina noticed that Smithy had a slight black eye.

"How did you do that?" she asked pointing.

Smithy's hand flashed to his eye, "Oh that." he said, unconvincingly offhand. "I hit it on the door."

Gina looked sceptical. "What it's true." said Smithy, and it was. He'd been curled up on the floor while Grace kicked him when she slammed the door into his face.

Gina nodded "Alright, okay. Look after yourself Smithy." she said as he left.

Smithy went home knowing what awaited him there, sure enough as he went through the door Grace came in from the kitchen.

"Go upstairs and get changed." she commanded him. Smithy obediently went up the stairs but instead of his usual subservience he sat down on the bed and thought back to the case that he'd dealt with that day. A man had been abused by his wife for 4 years, it had ended up with the guy coming in and reporting his wife after she cut off his finger with a knife. He had recognised much milder symptoms of the same problem in his own relationship with Grace.

She would come home and take out all her frustration on him, he still couldn't see properly out of his left eye after she'd hit him with the door.

Grace came in and expected him to be lying on the bed in his pyjamas but he wasn't he was sitting their fully clothed.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I've had enough. I'm not going to let you beat me up anymore." said Smithy.

"Oh you aren't?" she said dangerously. "We'll see about that."

She got out her mobile and rang someone, "I need some back up now." she said into the phone. Smithy reached for his own phone and scrolled down until he had the Sun Hill police station number highlighted. Grace sprang forward just as there was a knock on the front door. Grace shouted down to use their own key. Smithy pressed down on the 'call' button on his phone. Grace leapt forwards and snatched his phone out of his hand.

Four men came crashing into the bedroom as Smithy tried to wrestle his phone off Grace again. One of the men slammed Smithy against the wall, Smithy fought back but the man smashed his head against the wall. Smithy shook his head to clear it the man put both of his hands around Smithy's throat. Grace watched from the bed, Smithy desperately tried to get air into his lungs. The man threw him onto the bed next to Grace and went over to stand with the other 'back-ups'.

Smithy resisted strongly as Grace went to remove his shirt, Grace backed off and motioned to one of the men to help. "This is Bill. Bill that's Smithy." she introduced them.

Smithy scrambled away from Bill but Bill caught his legs and pinned him down while another back-up Ben ripped Smithy's shirt off. Then they both back off.

Grace moved forwards again, she stroked his face then moved her hand down to his chest, stroking him. Smithy shrank away, Grace backed off and motioned for Bill to help. Smithy shrank away as Bill caught his arms above his head. Ben moved forward and caressed Smithy's nipple, Smithy recoiled, Ben smiled and bit Smithy gently.

Smithy woke up in the morning hurting all over and with a sharp feeling of shame in the pit of his stomach, knowing that it had happened again.

Smithy was told at work that they'd cracked the case and they were all going out to celebrate. "We're going to the club after work." said Callum, "Why don't you bring Grace?"

"She's busy." said Smithy, grateful for an excuse not to go home.

After the shift all of the police and CID headed for the club. Smithy bought the first round of drinks then everyone headed onto the dance floor.. except Smithy.

He just sat at the bar drowning his sorrows in pints of beer.

Callum came over just as Smithy's phone rang, "Smithy? I'm waiting. I've sent Bill and Bob to fetch you." then Grace rang off. Smithy's face paled, Callum noticed and asked if anything was wrong. Smithy shook his head and swivelled his chair so that he was facing the entrance. Smithy saw Bob and Bill enter the club, they made a beeline for him.

Callum saw the two thugs approach Smithy and escort him from the club. Callum went over to the tables occupied by the Sun Hill police officers.

"I think Smithy's in trouble." he told them.

"Why?" asked Kerry, scanning the club for Smithy.

"He got a call then he went off with two thugs." Callum replied. The police officers were on the feet in a second, they dispersed into their separate cars.

Kerry spotted Smithy being taken down a side alley by the two thugs. Callum and Roger were going to follow them on foot, they got to the alley and saw Smithy on the ground.

Callum sped up slightly but the thugs saw him coming and helped Smithy to his feet. Bill pulled Smithy's arm round his shoulders, Bill put his arm round Smithy's waist.

Callum could hear Bob talking to Smithy, threatening him in a crooning voice. Bob stroked Smithy's stomach possessively, he slid his hand under Smithy's shirt and poked his index finger into Smithy's navel, Smithy squirmed as Bob's finger scraped against the tender skin. Bill had one hand resting over Smithy's nipple, Smithy stumbled and the thugs' hands tightened round his body.

Callum called out to the thugs, "Oi, stop! Where are you going?"

They turned, Smithy still supported between them, Bob's hand still under Smithy's shirt and Bill's hand still resting on Smithy's chest.

Callum double checked where the thugs' hands were, he was disgusted. "Get your hand out!" Callum yelled at Bob, Bob smirked.

"No need to get jealous. There's plenty to go round." he said, lifting Smithy's shirt suggestively. Callum said "I'll give you 10 seconds to get your hand away from Smithy's shirt or I'll report you for indecently assaulting a police officer."

"He's a copper?" asked Bill. Callum nodded.

"Oh, I'll bet he looks gorgeous in a uniform." said Bob smirking, he lifted Smithy's shirt up and pressed a pen knife blade to Smithy's ribs. Callum saw the blade glint silver.


End file.
